This entry is a bit of a diary so if it sounds bitchy and you don't like it...move right along.
I am beyond frustrated. The words Coach Justin said just a mere two weeks ago were "Don't get stressed and don't get sick."
I am both.
Faaaak.
I am stressed because I have been sick. We went to the lake for the weekend. All was good. Luke pukes in the truck about 10 minutes out of P.A. I am sure we looked like a sideshow as Shaun swerved to the side of the highway, while towing the boat, and the two of us, gagging, fly out of our repective doors and we do the gags into the ditch. It was THAT bad. And poor Luke is crying and saying "Mom! I'm scared!" As I am spitting and fighting not to puke in the ditch... Did I mention the truck has leather seats? No? Well Shaun is now in a super shitty mood because the leather seats have been puked on and we have to hear about how hard they are to clean...blah...f-ing blah all the rest of the way. We get poor Luke cleaned up and changed and clean the truck up with limited resources and go along our journey. Get to the lake and the Luke was fine. Little kids don't know they are sick so they just keep on going...until they drop...so into bed they go at night...way too late. Our sleeping arrangements up there are kind of wacky as we just sleep where we drop and I happened to drop in bed with Luke and he rocks all night. I mean ROCKS his head and body...aaaalll night. Remember, I had done that tough bike ride in the morning and was so looking forward to getting some sleep, which I got NONE!! Sunday rolls around and I am beyond exhausted. We take the boat out and I crash on the boat for a couple of hours. It was great! But sleeping on a hard piece of plywood is not exactly a great way for my body to recover from that bike ride. I kept chanting "I love my boys...I love my boys...I love them...really I love them...even if I feel shitty...I still love them..." Mind you, I am chanting this through clenched teeth but I was still saying it...
Needless to say, Monday comes and I am sick. Not real sick, but enough that if I was to workout it would be a shitty workout and get me more sick. So I give up my run. I give up my bike ride. I try to sleep. I can't sleep. I get stressed because I have not slept for about three nights...and I am panicking I am going to get real sick...I am in HELL!!! (Okay, not hell, but as you all know...when you have goal like a half ironman coming up, you really do not want to be getting sick...so for me, this was HELL!!!) I really want to sleep and feel good. Shaun keeps telling me to "take your pills!" Those would be my sleeping pills, but from experience, I feel so awful the next morning that they seriously are not worth it. On top of this I can't eat. I can't keep anything in my belly. Whatever goes in, just comes out. I have lost 8 pounds this week...EIGHT POUNDS!!!! This is NOT healthy. I am frustrated. I made myself get on my bike last night...on the trainer because it was piss pouring rain...and I got 45 minutes in. AND I ate some bread and some of an orange today.
Maybe I am on my way....?? God, I hope so!!!
5 comments:
hey...you wanted to lose someweight so maybe the universe is helping you get down to your race weight??? I hope you feel better soon as i truly understand your frustrations...but you have trained, its in the bank. YOU will be ok.
:)
What Jenna said x2!
Mel and I are looking forward to meeting you when you come out next month. Keith/Linda's shindig afterwards is going to be a terrific bender...definitely bring your A game for that one!
sweetie, just breathe. everything is going to be okay. i will repeat, for the third time what jen said so you know it's true, you have done the bulk of the training already. a few days of illness is nothing to worry about. rest. get your strength back up. and get ready to rock the race! big hugs to ya.
ps. i would think getting hurl off leather would be easier then cloth? just saying... LOL. really glad you didn't chunder in there two...gag.
I'm down with a nasty cold right now -- the only thing you can do is let your body heal. Stress isn't going to help things along, and ignore what all those stupid triathlon forums and magazine articles say about losing your fitness after missed days or weeks of training.
Every time we HEAL, we come back stronger than before. I just wish I didn't feel so $hitty in the meantime....Hahahaha! Ahhhh well, thank God for Tylenol Cold and Flu. :) :)
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