totally off topic...

Having a huge dilema.

I bought my 20 year highschool reunion dress a few weeks ago. Let's just say it IS THE 20 year reunion dress...black, short, tight and low cut. Ohhhhhh...yeah!! However, I have been informed a couple of the peeps I was looking forward to being there are not going. I have no problem going by myself, BUT do I wear the dress?? Because we were all supposed to go together all dressed up. But now? OR do I wear this super cool shirt I found...it says..."I'm Kind Of A Big Deal"

OMG...I think THAT would be the most perfect thing to wear!! Would it not??

And I found a pair of kick-ass stilettos to wear with the dress but they did not have my size. Argh! But then don't know how I would fair in those after a couple of wobbly-pops...

What to do...what to do....

Got to my Wed swim today. Keith...I found your swim...it went on vacation with mine...holy could tell I have not been in the water for a few weeks. The coach even asked where I have been...nice to be missed!!

and the consensus is this...

First off, thanks to all who have e-mailed and called and commented and sent me messages on Facebook!! Wow! More people read this blog than I thought!! It's funny how when you have a bad experience, everyone wants to tell you about one that they had...and some of them have been very entertaining!!

But the consensus has been from everyone "At least you didn't quit."

And THAT is what I am taking away from this mess. I didn't quit. I walked and I swore and I wanted to cry but now that I have had a few days to think...I am okay with what happened. I am still struggling to understand it but I am okay. Heck...I covered 21 km in about 2 hours and 15 minutes!! That's not bad!!

Here is what I think...not in anyway trying to make excuses, but I truly want to know why my body reacted the way it did. So here are the facts: I had an awful stomach flu just 6 days before the event. Every ounce of liquid had come out of my body. I knew this was happening and I was drinking and drinking all week to try to replace everything but maybe I just did not recover as much as I had thought? I had had a very bad headache on Friday...that put me down on the couch for the night...sometimes I get these headaches and I attribute them to hormones (the monthly kind of hormones...) Over the past year, when "that time" comes, my body is totally wacked. This was just 36 hours before having to run 21km (hard). I thought I could handle it, but obviously I did not. I am still really frustrated but it is the kind that makes me want to run a fast for me half marathon even more...thank-you Amber for the invite!! I even looked on a map to see how far GP was from here...and of course there would be the whole family thing...my spouse would say "You want to go where? For what?" But thanks anyway!!

The new plan is this....skip the local triathlon in a couple of weeks. It was looking like it was not going to happen anyway with my dad coming to town, the kid's race the day before, I am out of town the week before...blah blah...I am really not interested in doing it. I might be talked into the sprint distance...will have to talk to Justin and see. There is a half marathon distance (Timex series race..which just means, in my world, it will be on a road and not through the bush..) up north in Prince Albert on June 21st. I am going to enter and we shall see how it goes!! So I get my do-over....awesome!!

My Half Marathon from HELL

I want to cry real bad.

Here's how she went down...The first half felt really good. As in really, really good. I felt strong and steady and was holding back a ton. A TON!! The goal, as always, is to negative split so I was really trying to just run a pace that I was confident I could run for all day. I had glanced down at Garmin just a couple of times and he was telling me we were doing awesome. I felt good.

Then:

I hit the half way mark at about 55 minutes. And still feeling really good. I was in a rythm and running along and was actually excited about the second half!! Then I got to about the 12km mark...a fierce wave of dizzyness washed over me...as in my eyes clouded over and I stopped short to walk for a few steps, I even swerved off of the path. What the F* was that? I was drinking and had had a gel, it was cool out and I was doing everything I normally do??? So I walked for about a minute and started running again...no luck...a couple of minutes later, the same swoosh of my head feeling super light and my eyes clouding over...I have NEVER had this happen before EVER so I got a little scared as I was out in the middle of no where with all these runners. The two hour pace bunny passed me and I just mentally was done. Done.

Started running a third time. This time I ran a little farther and much much slower but I could start to feel the dizzyness come so I stopped again. Threw my goal time out the window, turned off my music and just walked/ran, mostly walked the last 6-7 km.

I was super upset. I still am. On the verge of tears everytime I think about it...which is every minute so far today. Tried to make a "fun" morning out of the experience...stopped and visited with a couple of friends I have not seen for awhile. Stopped at the beer station for a cool one. Stopped at a house offering up coffee and had a few sips and visited with these complete strangers for a few minutes. Ran with a guy named Adam who was doing his very first half...he was really struggling so I ran with him the last 2 km...got him up radio hill and talked him in the last km. Saw Jenn and Chuck cheering me on at the finish and put on a brave face but nearly started bawling...glad I did not see them after because that would have been embarrassing!!

It is too early to come up with a "what I have learned" paragraph. I still feel dizzy so obviously something is going on. I just wished it would have waited until tomorrow!!!

Happy Birthday Luke!!

My baby is 3 today! He is so excited about his party this weekend. He asked me (again) today how many kids have been invited and then we had to name them all off (again). He debuts in soccer tonight, some of the family is coming over for pizza and then we are hosting about 14 kids at a gymnastics club on Saturday. Matthew has also been invited to test for his black striped belt in TKD on Saturday so we are a busy crew.

I would love to tell all about the labour and delivery from 3 years ago but it was actually not too bad...much better than the first time....but will save those details for another time. When triathletes talk about pain...I roll my eyes...have a baby with no drugs...then you will experience pain...and you have to do it, you can't quit, there are no other options!!

We are so lucky to have this vibrant, smart, talkative, healthy, little boy in our lives. He loves Spiderman, The Wiggles, his hockey blanket (which is actually a PGA golf blanket), his soccer pj's, oatmeal, yogurt, running around naked, his big brother. I asked him today if he is still my baby and he says "No Mom...I'm a boy now." Almost makes me cry at how fast the time goes by. You try to enjoy it and take it all in, but life gets hectic and busy and we work and just do our best to raise these two boys to grow up to be good solid men.

done pouting

Have had a rough go the last week. It all started with a sore throat one week ago and then just got worse from there. Had a horrible run on Saturday. Horrible. In tears...the whole bit. Went to the lake like a trooper and spent my May long weekend of 2009 between the couch, the bed and the toilet. My buddy gave me her Oil of Oregano and I was shooting it like it was a tequila shot. And it tasted about as bad as tequila. Suffered through the car ride home...had to stop in P dot A dot as let's just say, I thought I had quietly farted but it turned out NOT to be a fart...so sorry to the young gal who had to use the T-Ho's washroom after me on Monday!! Then Matthew got whatever the hell I had and we were up again all Monday night with him. He and I were a pair of couch potatoes on Tuesday, he skipped school I skipped work. He slept all day and I did errands around the house.

To top this all off, the last couple of weeks I have had problems with my runners. Yeah. The runners I bought just in March. Really bad blisters on the sides of my feet. WTF?? I tried every remedy I could think of. Plain and simple the damn shoes just did not fit me anymore. And they were relatively new...the same style, size, make I have worn for about 4 years. I dragged my poor sick child to the local running store, had my feet measured and looked at and prodded and I ended up dropping a couple of hundo on a brand new pair of runners. FOUR days out from my half marathon. GULP!!! I wanted to hit a treadmill today and the only chance I had was right after work and before Matthew's TKD test. About a 15 minute window. I had talked to Justin earlier in the day and he gave me the before race pep talk and I was all upset about how I have being laying horizontal for the past 4 days. He of course said the absolutely wrong thing that so many people do is they do TOO MUCH before an event. My past 4 days have probably done me more good than anything. All the hard work is done. He reminded me I have missed ONLY a handful of workouts since January...I didn't know he kept a record of that...After I got off the phone with him I could just feel my mood shift. I jumped on the tready and my legs felt like springs!! I was spunky in my new shoes!! They felt wonderful!! My instructions are to do an easy 30 minutes tomorrow...an easy hour bike ride on Friday and that's it. Relax on Saturday run my butt off on Sunday.

I am finally excited about this run!!