Through the vine (okay, it was my mom...) I heard that my cousin's new to grade one boy (just like Matthew) was beat up at school his very first day.
I am shocked.
Maybe I should not be shocked, but I am.
The bully was in grade 3. Punched and knocked him down and then kicked him silly. My cousin's kid (who I shall call SB.) apparently took it all until his buds ran for help. SB has never been taught to fight or wrestle or horse around. Not like our house where Shaun is constantly wrestling with our boys and being physical with them. HOWEVER...I think Matthew's reaction would be the very same...he would have just curled up and taken it. He is NOT a fighter.
But our advice has always been just that. Walk away. Tell them to stop. Tell an adult. I am rethinking my advice. My dad's always was...if something happens unprovoked, you wind up, and make sure they never do it again...but make sure it is OFF school property....this from a tough old hockey player!
Seriously...what do you tell your kids about this? You don't want them to be pounded and disrespected but you don't want them to be aggressive and mean...wow...this whole school thing is another ball game!!!
Training news...because I HAVE been working out...I did an hour run today with 3 x 8 minute intervals...ALL at 5 min/km...and my HR was at 160 for each...not over the top!! Cha Ching!!!
5 comments:
Your dad's advice is pretty good. The rule to remember with bullies, and kids, and spouses, and co-workers and just about everybody is "you get the behaviours you reward."
In school I got bullied (It was a mean school and I was a small kid till grade 7) until I gave one bully a bloody nose, more by good luck than good management I have to say. He never bothered me again.
It's hard to teach kids how to give a proportionate response. And teachers have this idealized view of the world thinking the little darlings on the school field are civilized. They're NOT! That's why they're in school. Fight back at the wrong time and the teacher will blame the kid fighting back.
Bullies look for people that aren't confident. They can smell fear. There are times and places to fight back, then you go all out. It isn't the size of the boy in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the boy.
I used to get beat up by this 'gang' of native girls. I would go to the library every Saturday to check out my max number of books for the week (yes I was a nerd) and they would somehow find me, chase me down a back ally and kick the crap out of me. I had no idea why. They tormented me for a couple of years, I was always scared to be in town by myself. One day I was out with some friends and we were approached by the 'gang'. Instead of fighting we ran home and grabbed my friends older brothers who came back with us and beat them all up. Yes.Boys pummeling girls.
They left me alone after that.
I think I agree with your dad too.
I have to agree with Keith and Amber -- these same bullies are probably given "time outs" by their parents.
Geesh Amber -- you've come out of your experiences incredibly stronger. "Women of Strength" takes on a whole new dimension now...WOW!
Kelly -- you freaking little runner you!!! Great job on those intervals!
Just stumbled across the following article, and the author gave advice to their son that seems relevant to your current dilemma:
How to Recognize Imminent Danger
With your son's experience in TKD, he will do a good job of being safe.
Wow - great intervals. I gotta start working harder to get me some of that speed!
Man, what a crappy first day. My heart goes out to him. I think everyone's advice is good and seeing as I don't have kids, I don't know what I'd tell them. Good post!
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